hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr
(via fixed-at-halvo)
once my uncle flipped backwards off a swing and hit his head so hard he lost his sense of smell
once my uncle got drunk while he was in the army in germany and got a pink, flying unicorn tattooed across his entire upper arm
once my uncle skateboarded around the top of a water tower then got in it and swam around
what i’m trying to say is don’t be like my uncle
(via st4te-of-dreaming)